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Archive for November, 2007

Being a Man, Part 2

Published at November 30, 2007 in Being a Man, Family and Spirituality. 4 Comments

“But Sam, you just posted yesterday! Give us some time to fully take in & digest your amazingly deep thoughts! We want to have time to fully appreciate every word for its intricacy & splendor.”

I know, I know. This is a lot of man to handle in just two days.¹While this is true, I didn’t want to fall down on my promise to post two traits per week, & we all know good & well that I’m not gonna post on Friday night or Saturday. Especially not with all the excitement at this time of year in college football. So, I wanted to go ahead & post the second trait of a “good man” before the weekend officially begins. If you haven’t read Part 1 of the series yet, you’ll probably want to. It’ll get you caught up on what & why I’m posting this. So, on to number two:

2) Discernment

We talked about determination on the last post, & in retrospect, I probably should have posted this one first. Not very discerning on my part. Discernment & determination go hand in hand. Discernment without the determination is useless, & determination without discernment is dangerous. Discernment is arguably the most important part of being a good man. The ability to see a situation, recognize one’s place in it, see all possible scenarios, weigh each possibility for its goodness, & to make the right decision is a non-negotiable attribute of a good man. Discernment isn’t just the ability to make decisions. It is the ability to make wise & informed decisions. How can I do anything motivated by goodness if I never think beyond the surface. There is a depth involved when someone is discerning. There is respect given to each decision because the discerning person realizes that every decision begets another. For instance, if I decide to steal something now, I am also deciding to lie about it later. Discernment also involves consideration & compassion. The discerning person not only considers how a decision will play out for themselves, but they also realize how their decisions will directly or indirectly affect others. Discernment is the fuel that must drive holy determination.

What are other qualities of a good man that go hand in hand?

¹Pun fully intended. I’m a big guy, deal with it.

Being a Man, Part 1

Published at November 29, 2007 in Being a Man, Family and Spirituality. 5 Comments

Obviously, there is not a person on the planet more authoritative than me on what makes someone a man. I am perhaps the most bone-crushingly masculine person on the planet outside of Hillary Clinton, & maybe Jet-Li. So, even though this is one of those topics that has probably long since been exhausted for many people, you should probably listen up.

All joking aside, I find myself thinking about this quite a bit lately. It is one of those sensitive subjects in culture & especially in churches that needs to be approached with an appropriate level of balance. There are many extremes for this sort of topic, none of which fully satisfy anyone. That is why they are extremes. I also want to clarify that I am attempting to speak to what makes someone a good man. The word “man” is something that applies to anyone having the appropriate chromosome & accompanying genitalia. I’d like to say also that I believe the word “good” is also used far too frequently when referencing people. I know several nice people. I know lots of funny people. I know plenty of thoughtful people. But I’d have to say that I know only a few good people. Good is a word that Jesus says that no one ever achieves save God himself. So, please understand that I am not saying that a person can be “good” in the sense that Jesus is speaking of. However, I do believe that people can choose to behave “goodly” as much as possible & can therefore be “good” in that sense. Also, I am trying to define a universal good man & not “my ideal man” as girls would say when they talk about what they like & don’t like in a boyfriend/husband. I want to identify things that are imperative to being a good man. A good man doesn’t have to play guitar, for instance. At least, I hope not.

So, as I have been thinking about how to be & continue becoming a good man several things come to mind. Traits, attitudes, beliefs, actions, & emotions that a good man should & shouldn’t have are now of much more significant importance to me as I am beginning the process of sharing my life with someone. These things have never been so important as they are now. I will not settle for a mediocre love & marriage. I will not settle for being a typical husband & father. Which brings me to the first part of what I see as a good man…

1) Determination

A good man is a man who sees different possibilities for what he can do in his situation, determines what he will do, & does it. No excuses. No “maybe I’ll get it done.” No settling for lower expectations. Obviously, this is only a good trait when what the man in question has determined to do is good. I can be very determined to kill 7 people & get away with it, but I would hardly define this type of determination as a good trait. This trait must be tempered with the other traits of a good man. Which brings me to my concluding point for this post…

As I continue this series of posts I would ask the reader to understand that none of the aspects of a good man that I will mention are to be taken as stand alone things that make a good man. A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square. A good man will be determined, but a determined man will not always be good. I want to try & post at least two new traits per week. Wait a minute Sam, “I want to try?” That doesn’t sound very determined. I will post two new aspects of a good man per week, but I don’t have them all lined out yet. So, I would love your input.

What traits does the universal ”good” man have?

Through the Wall or Take a Fall

Published at November 27, 2007 in TV Shows and Humor. 7 Comments

This is a clip from a Japenese game show where contestants have to fit themselves through a shape in the wall or else, you guessed it, get knocked into a pool of water. Why didn’t we think of this first?! I want to watch this every Thursday @ 10/9 Central.

Thanksgiving (or “Tanksgiving” as they say “in da Bronx”)

Published at November 23, 2007 in Fun, Holidays, Family and Humor. 9 Comments

Its the best of times-its the worst of times. Its awesome & it stinks. I love Thanksgiving & I hate it. In order to help you understand this I have compiled a list of pros & cons about Thanksgiving as I see them.

Reasons I am grateful for Thanksgiving (tee-hee-hee)

1. Seeing family & other loved ones is something that I am always for.

2. I can now listen to Xmas music, & that makes me happy, very happy indeed.

3. My mother’s French silk pie.

4. Three days off of work.

5. Three words: Please repeat after me, “Hash brown casserole.”

6. Cold weather.

7. I like the concept of being grateful.

8. Football

9. Celebrating with a fiancee is definitely the best.

10. Puh

11. um.

12. kin.

13. Pie.

14. Sucka!

Reasons I am UNgrateful for Thanksgiving

1. People from Texas. (This really doesn’t have anything to do with Thanksgiving, but I feel that they tend to make any situation worse.)

2. Not sleeping in my own bed.

3. Driving.

4. Cranberry sauce. ( I seriously have never met anyone who actually likes the stuff!)

5. The gluttony that attempts to disguise itself as “gratefulness.”

6. That weird uncle. (Amazing quote from this year’s Thanksgiving: “Hi, I’m Jimmy. You wanna dip a’ snuff?”)

7. Everything having to be a group decision.

8. The fact that I end up staying with the one relative that just moved & doesn’t have Internet yet. (I love you Katie.)

9. The fact that I had to spend 2 days removed from Facebook & Todd’s Blog.

10. The inevitable argument between the liberal family members & the ones who are wrong. I mean, give it up already!

11. Having to make out in a car.

12. Getting busted by the cops while making out in a car.

What do you appreciate/not appreciate about Thanksgiving?

The Story & The Pictures

Published at November 17, 2007 in Marriage, Fun, Family and Music. 7 Comments

I have had several people that have expressed interest in hearing the story. So, I thought I’d post it here for those who are interested.

Last weekend, Nov. 11, marked our one year anniversary. I had been working on her anniversary present for about 3 weeks & finally had it prepared. I made a music video set to our song, “I Love You More Today (Than Yesterday)” by Stevie Wonder. I introduced the video with a videotaped monologue that set up the video as “a glimpse into how I manage to cope through my day without you.” The video then went into me getting ready for my day, going to work, & teaching all while my students & I were lip syncing & dancing to the music. The video then ended where the song had ended. I gave that to her for our one year celebration.

Now, fast-forward to Friday. Her family was already coming to Little Rock for the wedding of a close family friend. It had been planned all semester already, nothing suspicious. So, as usual when her family comes to town, we got everyone together at my parent’s house for dinner. Just as I had anticipated, as we finished up dinner Brooklynne insisted that we show the video to her family.

“Sam, do you have it here?”

“Well Honey, I just happen to have a copy here in my briefcase.”

So, we pop in the video & watch it just as it was before right up until the end, but, instead of ending after the song this time, it popped back to another videotaped monologue that was different than the version in the intro. Weird. In this new ending I was talking about spending the rest of our lives together & starting a family together.

Then, out of nowhere videotaped Sam says, “So, my darling, I have something I’d like to ask you…”

Then, the real life flesh & blood Sam gets on his knee & pulls out a ring & asks, “Brooklynne, will you marry me?”

Long story short, she said yes & here are some pictures

There are more pictures of the ring over on Brooklynne’s blog

Surprise!!!