Archive for May, 2009

Words Are Funny That Way

I’m a big fan of people. I find them very interesting on so many levels. I’ve been noticing lately something that a friend of mine pointed out a few weeks ago that I had never noticed before. Throughout my life I’ve had the good pleasure to participate in entertaining people through many different venues. I like to sing, dance, & act. In doing these things I’ve worked with all kinds of different people over the years; lots & lots of them. I have enjoyed performing with almost every one of the men, women, & children that I’ve done different shows, plays, & songs with.

Lately though, I’ve particularly been noticing these traits in the men that I have performed with & those that I’m performing with now. We’ve all noticed, even if we haven’t said it, that the performing arts tend to attract a certain type of male participant.

Now, before we go any further, I’m not trying to make any type of statement or insinuate anything about sexuality in this post. I merely want to observe personality & behavior in this post.  

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s continue, shall we? The performing arts tend to draw men who are slender, & very expressive with their hands, arms, & faces. When being portrayed stereotypically, lisps are usually involved. In my experience, this is sometimes accurate, but not as much as one might think. When moving from place to place these men will oftentimes walk with head held high & chest out, placing one foot directly in front of the other & arms moving freely with the motion. One might call this “sashaying.” When talking with others these men tend to sensationalize things that are going on socially.

On the flip side of this, I definitely want to point out that, most of the time, these men only have one or two of these traits. I have only worked with a handful of men that brought all of these traits in full force.

These are traits that we usually refer to with the word “effeminate.” So basically, I’m saying that males that are drawn into the performing arts are “effeminate” men. In my experience, this is true most of the time. I have worked with several men who were not effeminate, but this is usually an exception.

I realize that many in our culture, when describing a man as effeminate, do so in a negative & mocking way. I want to make it clear that, in no way do I share those people’s negative intentions. Some of my favorite people, and some would say myself, could certainly be described as effeminate.

So now, back to what my friend pointed out & what I’ve been noticing is so true. These traits that earn a man the label of “effeminate,” meaning feminine or female in their nature, aren’t really feminine at all. I don’t know very many women at all that I could qualify as “effeminate” on these terms. Lately I’ve been watching the “effeminate” men that I work with & comparing their behaviors with various women on the cruise. They just don’t match up.

In conclusion, I’ve decided to question anybody who describes a man as effeminate as to whether they actually mean “like a female” or not because this has really gotten out of hand. 

Kris Allen Has Ruined My Plans!!

Sure, I’ll grant you that he’s an excellent musician & singer. He also seems like a nice enough fella. I wish him nothing but the best in his life & upcoming career. However, he should proceed with his newfound life with the knowledge that he has ruined all of my plans & crushed all of my highest dreams in the process.

As many of you already know (because I try to remind people every chance I get), I have attempted to garner a spot on American Idol on 3 separate occasions. Obviously, as I have never appeared on the show in any way, my attempts have been, as yet, unsuccessful. Be that as it may, I have never lost hope that I would someday make it onto the show & woo the American viewing audience with my unique combination of stellar vocals, sensational stage presence, amazing sense of humor, unbelievable good looks, charismatic personality, &, of course, disarming & utter humility.

Enter Kris Allen & all that has changed. He has broken into the home where my dreams & aspirations lived happily & peacefully with everything & everyone, & he has burglarized all of the hope that once gave me endlessly lovely, vivid dreams as I slept through the night. Yesterday I watched as he took my goal of being American Idol & he moved it from being something not very likely & kind of improbable to something completely unreachable & thoroughly impossible.

“But Sam,” you are asking, “how could Kris Allen, who you’ve never met & who doesn’t know you from Adam, possibly have done something like this to you?”

Well, I’m glad you asked. The answer boils down to simple statistics. Let’s start with a conservative estimate that 100,000 people audition for AI each year. Already, the chances of being the American Idol are 1 in 100,000 or .001%. Thanks Kris. As if I didn’t have my work cut out for me already. So here’s where Kris Allen comes into the equation.

You see, Kris & I both attended elementary school at the prestigious College Station Elementary. If that weren’t enough, we also both attended junior high at Fuller Junior High School. You can imagine what happens statistically when you compound the following 3 pieces of data;

1) the chances of becoming the American Idol,

2) the chances of two American Idols attending the same elementary school, &

3) the chances of two American Idols attending the same elementary and junior high schools.

My .001% chance of winning just got moved about 347 decimal places to the left. Thank you, Kris Allen. Thank you.

On the other hand, I am not one to lose hope in something just because it’s a “mathematical impossibility.” I must look on the bright side here, & there are several things that give me reason to be optimistic.

1) We were not in the same class &, in fact, we never even met. Although, he probably knew who I was (I mean who didn’t, right? *wink*, rotfl, hahaha, lol, j/k… but seriously).

2) Thank goodness I didn’t go to Mills High School, as he did.

3) My brother pointed this out last night, maybe the fact that it is so very impossible actually makes it not only possible, but probable. I’m not really sure if that’s true. Actually, I’m quite certain that it isn’t even remotely true, but it is fun to pretend and use my imagination. I’ve always believed that. And finally,

4) AI is coming to Boston for auditions next season, & I live in Boston now. Therefore, I’m pretty much a shoe in to win American Idol season 9. It’s a cinch!

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter all that much. For now I am content to sing my songs & entertain tourists, colleges, & high school kids on lunch & dinner cruises around the Boston Harbor while continuing to look for nanny positions.

Congratulations, Kris! You deserve it, & I sincerely do hope that you go on to accomplish great things. You’re a stand-up guy, & I don’t think your winning AI was a purposeful attack on me personally. I’m 63% sure that you didn’t try out for & win American Idol with the expressed & specific goal of squashing all of my hopes & dreams. 

Passion

I’m losing it. The only problem I have is figuring out whether or not it is a good, bad, or neutral thing. I used to think about things & get riled up about them. Whether positively or negatively, I had a well thought out opinion & a deep conviction about many very important things. On the one hand, I feel like this is a good thing. I spend my time thinking, praying, & feeling about my immediate life & surroundings. How can I be a Godly husband to my wife? How can I pursue excellence in my job? What is the best way for us to be a part of God’s church here & now? These are good things to be passionate about. However, I used to think & feel deeply about other stuff that has fallen away lately. I find myself feeling apathetic towards issues that have an impact on the bigger picture. Commercials for supporting starving children are fast forwarded. War headlines are skipped over. Talk of the recession’s impact make me roll my eyes. Thinking about God’s will for the mankind & the world just drains me & I get sleepy. I’d love to hear your input about this because I honestly don’t know whether this is a good thing or not. What do you think?

This Was Sooo My Idea First

And I know that I am obviously the first person to ever think about it, too.  The only differences between my idea & what happens in this video is that it happens in a train station & they use a previously recorded song.  My version would have been at the Wal-Mart Supercenter in Searcy, Arkansas & would have used a completely original song.  Other than that, these people stole my thunder!

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Last Week of Middle School Teaching

I have finally come to the end of a very bad situation.  I took a leap of faith and quit the middle school job.  A combination of factors have helped to make this a reality.  After this week, the cruise season should be beginning to hit it’s stride so I’ll be able to take on close to, if not more than, 40 hours a week and make buckets more money than I make teaching.  Also, I’ve been accepted on at a nanny agency, so they’ll be able to take on the task of finding me a nanny job while I work on the cruise ship until I can find a more permanent job as a manny.  Everything is working out very nicely so far. Let’s just pray that it all continues to fall into place. Also, if you’re ever wondering, “Should I take a job teaching middle school in Dorchester, MA?” The answer is a resounding, “NO!!!!!” It’s bad for you.