Something really remarkable has transpired this weekend. I received a Facebook message from someone with a subject line that read “A long overdue apology.” The subject line is intriguing enough, but try to think of it from my perspective on top of that. Due to my uncanny ability to offend people, in any given situation, I am almost always the one who needs to apologize. I haven’t been on the receiving end of an apology for quite some time. That made this message even more intriguing for me specifically.
I must give a little bit of a back-story for this to make sense. If you’ve been following me since my days on Xanga, a blogging host, then you may remember this incident. For those who haven’t, I would like to say that the BigSam82 that you know from this site is a very different man than the one who used to post on Xanga. When I began posting on Xanga, I was in a very angry & disenchanted place spiritually. I would post things for the specific purpose of making people angry & to stir the pot. Not good things. I regret that & I want to apologize to anyone who was hurt by anything that I said on that site. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. My pot-stirring, judgmental, & arrogant attitude (& also my weight) was then used as ammunition for someone who created a fake Xanga where they posted hurtful things. At that time I had tracking software installed on my blog, which I used to identify the culprit as a guy named Brent. I then made a post on my blog calling him out publicly. You can view that post & the ensuing storm of comments here. I never admitted it at the time, but the things that were said on that site hurt me a little. To sum it all up, I was being a jerk & lashing out on my site, I didn’t like it when someone did the same thing to me, & I exposed it on my site hoping to embarrass the guilty party in retaliation.
Back to the present. The message on Facebook was from, none other than, Brent. The same Brent that I had called out in my post almost 4 years ago. I had honestly forgotten about the whole ordeal until I got this message. It was a small thing that happened 4 years ago, & it wasn’t like it was the first time that I had been called out for being overweight or a jerk. However, in his message Brent wrote me a heartfelt apology admitting his hand in the whole thing & asked for my forgiveness. I really couldn’t believe it. Of course, I forgave him with no qualms & asked for forgiveness in return for my part in the whole ordeal.
I post all of this to say that it is now time for this all to come full circle. 4 years ago I made a post calling Brent out as a coward that was attempting to hide behind the anonymity of the web. Now I want to make a post calling Brent out for being a man of courage & integrity. It takes bravery to step up & apologize for anything right away, but it takes some serious stones to apologize for something that small 4 years in the past. If we would all be so courageous & humble, I think we’d be very surprised at the healing & growth that can take place as a result. I have been very inspired by Brent’s actions, & I want to make it a point to have that kind of courageous humility in the future. Thank you, Brent & God bless you.
Well I am proud of you and Brent both for doing what it takes to pay it forward in the forgivness department. Also I remember that Sam from four years ago and I could see through all that bluster at the time and it was then and there I began praying that God would make you my son-in-law.
Thanks Sam. I’m happy something good has come out of all my nonsense after all these years. You’ve been a perfect example of grace, one I hope to emulate if I ever have the chance. I’m just sorry it took so long to make this apology - it should have happened long, long ago. Take care and God bless.